I Was a First Grade Hooker

(This post ended up getting deleted, so I'm going to write it again in the condensed version.)

                                                                                                         

My husband, son, and I were going through the sewing books at JoAnn's looking at costumes.  BTW, no I can't sew, I just like to pretend I can so people won't suspect that I am really just getting my rest on. I really like doing that. I'm the one at the furniture store "exploring the ergonomical features" of the latest lazy boy recliner (Like I'd really allow one of those in my living room. The sales people are so gullible!).  Or, at the mattress section at Bed Bath and Beyond, "Oh honey! I really need to check out the sleep number in that mattress there!" You can really get your nap on while your out shopping if you're creative enough! Maybe I'll make a tutorial for that later.

Anyhow, the husband and son were discussing what Halloween costume "little Ricky" would use this year and what my husband used when he was 6 or 7. Which quickly translated into "Ricky" asking what was I when I was that age.  Me? I was a hooker.



 Later that evening....


No. Really. Later that evening..........


Me: Mom, do you remember dressing me up as a hooker for Halloween when I was about 7?

Mom: "Lucy", that never happened!

Me: I had my hair teased, heavy makeup on, and club clothes.

Mom: It was the 80's. You  just described half of the American population at that time. (she's not joking btw.... think Boy George and Flock of Segals)

Me: Mom! I was wearing fish net panty hose and 2 inch heels! I was the only kid in the neighborhood being offered to turn tricks for treats!

Mom: *Color draining from her face*

Mom: "Lucy",  you can't write that! What will people think?

Me: I wouldn't worry about it. There are other bloggers out there with more messed up childhoods than me.

Mom: I doubt that bad.

Me: Mom, there is a blog I read sometimes. Her mom tried to get her some action by bribing a kid with subway. 

.......................

Excerpt taken from "Tales of My Messed Up Life" by Design Fluff.



**I seem to have lost all of my comments, again. Not sure why I have the wonkiest commenting system on Blogger, but if any of you needed me to get back to you about something, you can re-post here now that I have gotten rid of intense debates. Perhaps the change back to blogger caused me to lose the comments. Sorry!